Husband steals from me to gamble

Dear Pastor,

I am 28 years old and I am married. My husband and I have two children together, but our marriage is not going well.

My husband gambles and he is always stealing my money. We have talked about it many times and he said that he did not steal the money - he takes it whenever he needs it. I asked him why does he not ask me for the money and he tells me that he knows I will not give it to him because I know he will use it to gamble.

Sometimes I have to find different ways to hide my money from this man. I used to put money in my shoes, but I stopped putting money there because that's one of the places he would look for money. I have tried to hide money in my Bible, but even from there, my husband has taken my money.

I did not know that this man was a gambler until after we got married and I observed that he could not keep any money. Sometimes for weeks my husband does not give me any money for groceries and we never seem to have enough to pay our bills. I do not know what to do. My relatives are telling me that I should get out of this marriage. I am seriously considering divorcing this man.

F.R.

Dear F.R.,

When they feel the need for money, some gamblers may even sell certain possessions that you may consider important to you.

Some even borrow money from their friends to gamble. It is a terrible addiction and not easy to overcome. A gambler is always hoping that he will win big. I know a politician who used to live in Manchester and he was known to be a big gambler. But that politician did not encourage anyone to gamble. He used to consider himself very fortunate.

Your husband needs therapy, but although you may encourage him to seek professional help, he is not likely to listen to you because a gambler has to see that he has a need for help. By the time he comes to realise that he needs help, his life might be wrecked. Keep very little money at home. Use your credit card to purchase the things that you need for the house. It is disgraceful when a woman has to be hiding money from her husband, but you have to protect yourself from this gambler.

Pastor