Parents don’t want me to come back home

Dear Pastor,

I am living in Canada. I listen to you every night. I am Jamaican. I love your radio programme.

I am studying in Canada, but my heart is in Jamaica. My boyfriend is in Jamaica and he wants me to come back for both of us to get married. My parents don't believe that I should return to Jamaica; they say Jamaica is too hard. But I think about my boyfriend every day and I told him that if he stays faithful to me, I will be faithful to him. He has assured me that he is faithful to me.

A good friend of mine told me that she invited him out for dinner and he went with her, and after the dinner, she asked him if he wanted to come to her house and he said no. She was surprised. She said she was not going to encourage him to do anything, but the fact that he said no impressed her, because other guys would have said "Yes let me come." She told me on the phone that I have a good man.

In Canada, I do not go anywhere and I can proudly say that I have not gone to bed with any man since I have been living here. My studies will come to an end in the early part of 2026, so I have to make up my mind about what I want to do. I could get a good job in Canada, but what about my man in Jamaica? Should I listen to my parents who mean well? What should I do?

M.T.

Dear M.T.,

I believe that you love your boyfriend and that he loves you. I can also see that your parents love you and wish the very best for you.

It is true that everything in Jamaica is costly. To put it frankly, the cost of living is very high. I often wonder what young people are going to do. How are they going to pay rent? I recently found out that even in depressed areas, a two-bedroom house is being rented for $35,000 or $40,000 a month; that is very high. In some areas, a one-bedroom with a bathroom can be rented for $40,000 or $50,000. It sounds crazy, but it is true.

Now if a couple has a child and that child has to be sent to kindergarten, the couple has to pay $15,000 or 20,000 and that has nothing to do with lunch or transportation to send that child to school. So your parents are concerned, but if you love your boyfriend, your parents cannot make the decision whether you should return to Jamaica and marry him. That would be strictly up to you.

You are getting an education in Canada. I do not know how much you will earn, but remember that in today's world, a first degree might not be enough. So I beg you, after you are married, go back to school. I also urge you to have your husband do the same so that you will earn decent salaries and can maintain a reasonable standard of living.

Pastor