STAR VIBES Cabinet

Fresh off a resounding victory in last Wednesday's general election, Prime Minister Dr Andrew Holness is preparing to take the oath of office for the fourth time. Once sworn in, he will unveil a new Cabinet to steer the nation's course for the next five years. But while the country awaits the official picks, THE STAR is setting the stage for a more entertaining twist on governance. Imagine your favourite celebrities running the ministries -- welcome to the STAR VIBES Cabinet.

1. Prime Minister - Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce

Sprinting her way into Jamaica's highest office, Prime Minister Fraser-Pryce is expected to fast-track national growth and unlock opportunities for marginalised Jamaicans. Given her track record, its highly likely Jamaica will find gold in her administration's first 100 days in office.

2. Chris Gayle - Minister of Tourism

The "Universe Boss" has only one mission -- to flood Jamaica's streets and shores with visitors from every corner of the globe. With his international swagger, Gayle is ready to charm India, Dubai, and beyond, ensuring record-breaking arrivals and endless party vibes for the island.

3. Vybz Kartel - Minister of Justice

No one understands the justice system like the Worl' Boss, who lived through its inner workings. Kartel is ready to remix the courts, sharpen the laws, and ensure fairness with a rhythm that speaks to the people. Some say a whole new beat of justice is about to drop.

4. Usain Bolt - Minister of Finance & Business Transformation

With lightning speed, Bolt promises quicker approvals, efficient systems, and budgets balanced like a world record sprint. Determined that Jamaica will never relive another SSL saga, the sprint legend is running a tight fiscal race -- and only victory is in sight.

5. Bounty Killer - Minister of Potholes Eradication

Shoddy contractors beware! The 'Poor People Governor' is taking no excuses and no shortcuts. Armed with a general's authority and his cross, angry, miserable energy, Bounty is ready to level Jamaica's roads once and for all.

6. Buju Banton - Minister of Poverty Eradication

The Gargamel brings grassroots wisdom to the Cabinet, determined to dismantle cycles of poverty. With a message of hope, unity, and upliftment, Buju plans to channel resources straight into communities where they're needed most.

7. Sizzla - Minister of Education & Culture

A fiery advocate for roots, culture, and consciousness, Sizzla is ready to inspire the youth. With education tied deeply to heritage, he is pushing for schools that teach both academics and identity -- making knowledge a fire that can't be out.

8. Skeng - Minister of Party Planning & Traffic Flow

Skeng has big plans to organise events and manage roads with the same intensity as his stage shows. From carnival routes to daily commutes, Skeng promises smooth traffic flow and nonstop vibes. St Ann will love him!

9. Popcaan - Minister of Vibes & National Happiness

Known for his infectious energy and feel-good hits, the Unruly Boss believes in "more joy, less stress." From boosting community events to promoting nationwide fun days, Popcaan promises to make laughter a national priority.

10. Sean Paul - Minister of Foreign Affairs & Foreign Trade

Global superstar Sean Paul is Jamaica's ultimate hotstepper on the international stage. With his voice and brand already crossing every border, he is ready to strengthen trade deals, international collabs, and diplomatic vibes with "dutty rock" charm.

11. Yaksta - Minister of Agriculture & Ambition

Yaksta is grounded in the soil, focused on growth, sustainability, and food security. With an eye on innovation and community farming, this minister's mission is to promote farming over flossing.

12. Shanice 'Shanzi' Adair - Minister of Information

With grace, poise, and media smarts, Shanzi is taking charge of messaging. From government briefings to public awareness campaigns, expect clear, confident, and stylish communication that keeps Jamaicans fully in the know.

13. Shenseea - Minister of Street Food & Jerk Excellence

From pan chicken on the roadside to pepper shrimp, this ministry is dedicated to preserving Jamaica's world-famous street food culture. Expect bold moves to standardise hygiene without killing the vibes, while elevating jerk seasoning into a global export brand. Every bite will scream "yard style!"

14. Beenie Man - Minister of Rumination, Chill & Mental Health

Finally, a ministry designed to remind Jamaicans that relaxation is not a crime. While drinking rum and red bill, the minister will actively promote meditation, therapy awareness, and stress-free living.

15. Dalton 'Potcova' Spence - Minister of Sports Glory & National Pride

This ministry will shine a constant spotlight on Jamaica's athletic heroes. From grassroots football fields to Olympic podiums, the mission is to highlight achievements, boost morale, and keep the black, green, and gold waving high. It's not just about sports -- it's about uniting the nation through pride.

16. Ministry of Dancehall, Creativity & Costume Design - Spice

Where TikTok challenges meet dancehall rhythms, this ministry sets the tempo for the culture. Expect new songs and dances to trend weekly, fresh rhythms to shake the world, and Jamaica's creativity to go viral again and again. If it doesn't mash up the place, it's not approved.

17. Agent Sasco - Minister of Crime Prevention and Youth Empowerment

Agent Sasco is stepping into government with a mission to steer Jamaica's youth away from crime and toward opportunity. His ministry is focused on mentorship, community programmes, and building safer spaces where talent can thrive. Just like in his music, expect real talk, tough love, and powerful inspiration to keep the nation's future on track.

18. Keticia Chapman- Minister of Bikini Standards & Beach Access

Tanaania Tracey - Minister of State

Keticia Chapman and Tanaania Tracey are charged with the responsibility of turning Jamaica's beaches into the ultimate playground, where style meets sun-soaked freedom. Tasked with setting the hottest swimwear trends and ensuring every Jamaican has their slice of shoreline paradise, this ministry guarantees a coastlines experience that is pure fire.