Boyfriend treating me like garbage

Dear Pastor,

I am 29 and I have two children by two different men. I am fortunate to be employed and I do not have to rely on my children's fathers to support me.

I am living with my last younger child's father but it was a big mistake to do so. He is very disrespectful. He has told me dirty words in front of my children several times. I told him a few weeks ago that I am going to leave him because he has no respect for me and my children. That was enough to set him off and to tell me some more dirty stuff. He said I can go my (expletive) way because I do not have any sweetness anymore and my vagina is stretched out. I had to call my neighbour and ask her to keep my children until this man stopped cursing me. I asked him when he knew that I was stretched out and that was when he told me some things.

This man took me with one child and before that, I was not the runaround type. I had a few boyfriends like most teenage girls but I was never a bad girl. He took me as a clean girl but the problem he is having with me is that he cannot get to spend my money the way he would like. He is working too, but every month he wants me to give him money to buy gas. I have to pay to send my children to school. He does not assist me in doing so.

My godmother keeps the children for me while I am at work and sometimes he picks them up late in the evening. Sometimes she has to call and ask me what happened to my husband. She does not even know that we are not married. I told him we should try and get a NHT house but now I have changed my mind. I do not want to continue to live with him. The man's mouth is so filthy and yet I have not done him anything. He told me he can get any girl he wants. I cannot take the disrespect anymore, so I am going to leave him.

The father of my older daughter takes care of her - I don't have any problem in getting money from him for his daughter. But I told him not to call my phone and leave any message for me because I suspect that this man thinks that I am in a relationship with him. I did not break up with my daughter's father. He told me that he had joined a particular church, so he could not continue in having a relationship with me. We parted in good faith and he has been a real gentleman. The one I am living with now can't walk in that man's shoes. He curses me and yet he wants us to have sex.

A few nights ago, I gave in to his demand and I later cried myself to sleep. I can pay $70,000 per month for a two-bedroom place. I want my girls to have their own room and, if possible, their own bathroom. Thank you for reading my letter.

S.C.

Dear S.C.,

I hope that you will be able to find an apartment very soon. The man with whom you are living is behaving as if he is a beast.

He is a disgrace to all men who have tried to be respectful to the mother of their children. Why should a man tell a woman about how large she is? Although this man is cursing you about your private parts, he wants you to allow him to have his way with you in the bed. He is a wicked, dirty, good-for-nothing man.

The man is working, yet he is demanding money from you to put gas in his car. He is not a good provider either. I am glad that you are employed. You did not say what type of work you are doing. However, you are still young. So, as soon as you have found a decent place to live, try and further your education.

Don't try to get into any physical fights with this man. He knows that it is your intention to leave him. Your hands are in the lion's mouth, so try and get out of the den. And please let me hear from you again. I wish you well.

Pastor