Husband says he cheated because I got fat

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 and I got married when I was 19 years old; my husband was almost 21 at the time.

We hurriedly got married because he got me pregnant. My parents said that the only way I could stay at home was if my boyfriend would marry me. We got married right away and my parents allowed us to live in the mobile home that they had on the property. I was not keeping very well when I was pregnant, so my husband had to do two jobs. It was very hard on us. My mother helped me and taught me how to take care of my baby.

I put on a lot of weight and when it was time for my husband and I to resume having sex, he kept ignoring me. I went on a diet. I did everything to take off weight to please my husband. In the meantime, my husband developed a relationship with a young woman who went to school with him. When I found out and asked him about it, he denied it. But the evidence was there that he was having an affair.

I complained to his mother and she called the girl and told her that she was destroying our relationship. The girl told his mother that she was there before me. I did not know that my husband had a relationship with that girl. I questioned him about it and he said they used to play around, but when I got pregnant, he broke off the relationship with her. But he said I am the one who caused them to get back together because I have become too fat. I am really worried because I love my husband and I don't want to lose him.

D.S.

Dear D.S.,

I am sorry to hear that your husband is ignoring you. I believe you are trying to take off weight.

As you can see, it is not happening. The process can sometimes be long. Some women gain plenty of weight during pregnancy, and they find it difficult to lose weight even after giving birth. Because they have got much larger, their husbands use that as an excuse to go to other women. Some women say that they are not eating much, but it is not necessarily the amount a person eats, but what they eat, although the proportion is important. What one eats has a lot to do with gaining weight. Perhaps you have already done what I am going to tell you, but you need to go to a doctor and have him/her put you on a reducing diet and monitor your progress.

I know you have become a very worried young woman, and I hope your husband will cut out the nonsense of going with other women, using your weight as an excuse. You should also try to exercise every day. It is important to keep fit. You might not be able to go to the gym, but you can exercise at home, and walk a lot. Please don't buy more ice cream, and count your calories every day, which means that you would keep away from soft drinks and any drink that is heavy with sugar. You would drop your weight, but you have to be consistent.

Pastor