He baptised her, married her… then buried her - Priest speaks about special bond with Melissa Silvera

Melissa Silvera shared a lifetime bond with the Reverend Canon Major Sirrano Kitson, rector of St Andrew Parish Church -- he baptised her as a baby, stood by her at the altar on her wedding day, and welcomed her for countless monthly chats. Yet, being a man of deep faith could not have prepared him for the day he would lay to rest the woman he had cherished since infancy, in such tragic conditions.

"Boy that was tough," he admitted with a heavy sigh. "It was a very difficult and challenging funeral," he told THE WEEKEND STAR.

After another pause he continued, the emotion still evident.

"Having been there for her baptism, officiated at her wedding and then at her funeral under those circumstances it was hard. It was emotionally traumatising," he stressed.

Kitson recalls baptising Melissa in 1981, just a year after his own ordination.

"I baptised her as an infant. ... She worshipped here at the St Andrew Parish Church by herself, and then when the children got of age they came with her."

Melissa Walter, managing director at Moda Petroleum Company Limited, married Jolyan Silvera, then member of parliament for St Mary Western, on December 12, 2015. The wedding was attended by a host of dignitaries including former prime minister PJ Patterson, and parliamentarians Lisa Hanna, Ian Hayles and Mikael Phillips.

Kitson, who officiated the wedding, said photographs from that day capture the mood.

"The photos would tell you, just like weddings you know, it was a joyful occasion," he recalled.

"Very joyful occasion," he added again this time his voice lowering.

Kitson recalled that Melissa stopped by his office to talk on countless occasions, but they never spoke about her marriage.

"She would come and talk to me about things about life, never sharing about her marital relationship though. That was very strange for me," the clergyman said.

The couple shared four children, nine-year-old twins Adam and Aden, and four-year-old Axel. Their other son, Justin, tragically drowned in a pool at their home in 2017 at age two.

"When the third child passed that was great pain," Kitson said. "But she didn't talk about her marriage, and that naturally spoke volumes. I would sometimes say, 'So how are things with husband and home?' and she would say it is alright."

Melissa, 42, was killed by Jolyan, on November 10, 2023, just weeks shy of the couple's eighth wedding anniversary. Jolyan admitted to pumping three gunshots into her body. He has denied murdering her, confessing instead to manslaughter, saying he was provoked the night of the incident.

"I was totally devastated by it," Kitson said. "I don't recall where I was, you know. I think somebody must have called me and told me, knowing my connection with her. And I was totally devastated beyond distress."

The clergyman said the bond he shared with Melissa through the years brings him some comfort.

"The fact that she came and saw me at my office time and time again didn't make me feel like I turned her over to anybody. We maintained that connection and when she came to see me we would talk for almost an hour at least."

"She was a very articulate person, extremely bright very articulate you know and a real thinker, conceptualiser of ideas, visionary person," he said.

But those visits stopped, the conversations ended and one painful final duty remained.

"I did the funeral of Melissa," the reverend said softly.

Still, the love people had for Melissa was unmistakable that day.

"Her funeral was packed. People were standing, it was ram-packed, and everyone was wondering what is the priest going to preach and I was conscious of that."

In his sermon, Kitson spoke about forgiveness and the greater love of God.

A section of the sermon he said, "deception and betrayal and those things in relationships we become angry and even when we try to forgive somehow we carry it in our veins and at times it is even at the deathbed that we call to the priests to make that confession in order that we can do that peaceful transition..."

Since that day, however, the cemetery carries a reminder of a bond broken and a reality he can't escape.

"I have to go in that cemetery from time to time, so it's not a situation where I can avoid it. It depends on which side I go."

Though he has done many funerals and counselled many grieving families, Melissa's death hits hard for the clergyman.

"To deal with it, I try not to think of it," he said softly.