He’s handsome but useless in the bedroom

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 and I am having a problem. Two years ago, I met a man and it was like love at first sight.

I admired his height and the way he dressed. We were attending a wedding and I did everything possible to talk to him. He told me that he was neither married nor had a girlfriend. So, we exchanged numbers. We called each other often and we started to go out.

I found it strange that he was always broke. I could only reach him during his working hours. He told me he was living at his parents' home, so I could not visit him. I asked him when was he planning to leave his parents and he said he was an only child, so there was no need for him to leave soon. Because he did not have a steady girlfriend and any plans for marriage, he said he might remain at his parents' home for a long while.

One day I decided to test him. I invited him to a concert at the university campus and he said he does not go to concerts. This man did not tell me that something was wrong with him. But I found out that he had a major problem. On my birthday, my close friends hosted a party for me and I invited him. I also invited a friend who knew him well, but was not aware that he and I were going together. She called me aside and asked me what I know about this man and I told her. She said I should stop fooling myself as the man has no use. I told her that our relationship did not reach that far and she repeated that he has no use. I asked her how she knew that and she said that his girlfriend told her that a few years ago. She took him to bed and he could not have sex with her. So, I should not waste my time with this man. I told her thanks.

I decided to try this man out for myself. I invited him to my house one Saturday night and I put on some soul music and invited him to dance with me. He was reluctant, but he tried and I wilfully exposed myself to him. I held on to his privates, but it was dead. I tried for quite a while and nothing was happening. So I told him we could be social friends and nothing else because I was interested in finding a husband. This man stopped accepting my calls. I wished he hadn't stopped, but I thank my friend for telling me about him.

E.D.

Dear E.D.,

I want to respond to what you have written by telling you that years ago, a group of us young people used to hang out and one of the girls became a registered nurse.

She was a fine young woman. One of the guys in her church fell in love with her; at least that is what she thought. They started dating. They got married, and after their wedding, they went off on a honeymoon. After her honeymoon, we all asked her how it was and she said badly. Then she kept saying, I am going to talk to you all. On the honeymoon, she discovered that her husband could not have sex with her. We were all shocked. I was out of order enough to ask "How come you did not know that this man couldn't have sex while you all were courting? Didn't you all kiss?" She said yes, and then I asked if she didn't feel any tension with him. She said because he was a good Christian, she believed that he was able to control himself, so she fell in love with him. As we say in Jamaica, to cut a long story short, that girl was able to send her husband to urologist for him to get treatment, but nothing worked. Finally, one doctor told her that she is wasting her time with him; nothing could be done for him.

Let me tell you this - there are some wicked guys around. Something happened to that young man from he was a child and he knew that he could not have an erection and he would be no use to a woman sexually. The poor girl had to divorce this man and set herself free. Wickedness abounds everywhere.

Dear lady, I am glad that your friend told you about this man and that you did not spend your money on him.

Pastor