Once per week love-making not enough

November 23, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am a middle-age woman but I don't look my age. I look much younger. I am working with a company and, because of my looks, the boss put me in charge of the front desk. I am of light complexion and I have a good figure. When people come to the office, especially men, they always admire me. Some of the guys try to invite me out and my excuse to them is, 'This is COVID time, I am not going anywhere. I want to be home'.

I live with my boyfriend and we have been together for more than three years. He takes very good care of me. I am not in need of anything. We have one child together. When I am at work, his grandmother takes care of him. Whenever I leave work I pick him up. I don't have to do that if I am tired. When I don't go for him, his father makes a fuss with me. I don't know if my child's father has ever cheated on me. He said he has not done so but sometimes we go for a whole week without making love. According to some of my friends, that is unusual because he is three years younger than I am.

Whenever we make love, it takes a long time for him to ejaculate. Sometimes he gets me tired. Sometimes I complain and say, please come, and he asks why he should be in a hurry. But when he ejaculates, he says that should keep me for a week or more.

I am half-Indian and people have it to say that Indians have white liver. I don't think that is true of me. I just want my man to make love to me more than once per week. I am also interested in having another child, but he wants us to pay down on a house first. What he is working and what I am working, we can pay a mortgage without sweating. He is paying for his car but his company gives him travelling.

Our rent is only $30,000 per month, so we will be able to buy a house very soon. Sometimes I tease him and tell him, if he ignores me and doesn't give me what I want, I am going to leave him and go for it. He knows I am not serious, but he tells me he can get other women and, if I am foolish to leave him, he will find another woman, even if she is not as pretty as I am. He does not believe in fast food. I cook every evening when I go home and he helps me to cook on Sundays.

Only my close friends are allowed to come to my house. I have never invited any male to the house and he does not bring any here either. Sometimes I tell him that he is too jealous, but he said he is not jealous, he is only careful. We want a house in Kingston and that is one of the reasons why it is taking us a while to pay down on one. He doesn't want to live outside the city. I should also say that he likes to eat from my mother. He loves roti and curry goat. My mother treats him as if he is her son.

My father is a good dominoes player, so sometimes on Sundays we go there. My father and a few friends play dominoes with my man. I was raped when I was 17 years old by a male cousin. But it was only recently I told my boyfriend about it, and he told me to try and put that behind me. He knows the fellow who did that to me. He said he will never discuss that with him. I hate my cousin for what he did to me. He robbed me of my virginity but I was afraid to report him to my parents. I didn't want to see him go to prison.

Whenever we are ready to get married, we hope to contact you and ask you to officiate.

R.T

Dear R.T.,

Lots of people say that Indians love to have sex and I suppose that is why they say that they have white liver. I don't know if that is true. What I do know is that I have a friend and he married a very beautiful young woman who is Indian, and one day I saw him eating peanuts and I teased him about his eating peanuts, and he said he has to do something to keep up with his wife. He was in his 40s and he said that his wife wanted him every night. Sometimes he had to beg her to give him a break.

Both of them came to see me and, during the session, she admitted that she can get very aggressive when she wants to make love. She has had to run him around the house and even destroy the furniture to get him to comply. For her, nothing is wrong if she demands it. I kept my silence but I was amazed that a woman could behave like that. But then, think about it, they are married and she wanted him to carry out his matrimonial duty.

Now, you are not yet married to your child's father but you are very demanding, too, when it comes to love-making. I hope that both of you will get married, but I also hope that you will exercise common sense. I am glad that you are getting help from your child's grandparents. I am sure you see that you are saving lots of money by his grandparents keeping him during the week. It's good to eat out occasionally, but if you are planning to buy a home, you have to learn to save and not spend so much money by eating out. Both of you are mature people and I believe that very soon you will be able to purchase a home in the Corporate Area.

You said that you were raped by a cousin when you were 17, but you did not report it. May I suggest that, although many years have passed, that you make an appointment to see a family counsellor. It is not too late to get therapy.

Continue to cherish your relationship. Be faithful to your man.

Pastor

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