Girlfriend has turned into a weed head

October 06, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am in a little problem. I am 29 years old and I have a child with a woman who is in her mid-20s. She had to go to America and she spent six and a half months.

Since she has came back, she is a changed woman. She is smoking and drinking. When I asked her what caused this, she said that since moving around her friends, she has got to know herself and all her friendship has done is to keep her down. She used to do her little smoking now and then but it has increased and I can't deal with it. When I look at our daughter I ask myself how I can walk away from such a beautiful little girl. But I can't take this woman. I told her she should get help and she said nothing is wrong with her and the person who needs help is me. She said that all she is doing is enjoying life. I don't know what to do but every time I mention to her about getting help, she curses me. She is in a good job but I am sure she is going to lose her job because of her habits. These days she is always out of money and I suspect that she is spending it on the ganja and liquor. When I say she drinks I am not talking about a little beer. She drinks hard liquor and she is losing weight. Every time I tell her that she needs help she says that I have another woman and that's why I am talking this way. She said that if I have another woman I should just go and she will survive. Pastor, I will not go without my daughter. I spoke to my woman's mother and she talked to her and she was very upset. She said I was taking our business outside of the house. When it comes to the bedroom business, I can't even keep up with her when she is ready and it never used to be that way. So I know that something is wrong. Please give me your advice.


Dear Anonymous,

What has caused this drastic change in your child's mother? She has ruined herself. She rolled with the wrong crowd and engaged in drugs and she is now out of control.

She said nothing is wrong with her but you can see that everything has gone wrong. I believe that you may have to try and find someone who might be able to reason with her when she is sober. She is not going to listen to you because she believes that you are condemning her. I know that you are not doing so but that is how she might feel. Maybe when she started to drink heavily and smoke the weed it might have been for recreation. But the more she did it, the more she found it enjoyable, so she engaged in the practice repeatedly. Now she has become addicted to the extent that she might be out of control occasionally. If this young woman was living alone and did not share an apartment with anyone, she would probably hit the bottle every day. Lots of people become alcoholics when they live alone. They become depressed so they drink and smoke heavily. Some of them also touch harder drugs such as cocaine. I don't believe that her condition is very simple. She needs to be checked by a medical practitioner. You say that when it comes to bedroom works she can go on sometimes for a long time, but that is not unusual for people who smoke ganja. Before having sex they get stoned and they say it gives them a tremendous boost, but over a period of time that sexual enhancement dissipates. Unless this lady gets help, her condition is going to worsen. So try and get help. Just encourage her to go to the doctor. You should accompany her or she should be accompanied by someone who loves her. Different drugs can cause different reactions to a person but from what you have described, she is surely not her normal self any more.


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