My husband spent all his money on other women

February 26, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 55 years old and I do not have any children. My husband is 67. He was a hard drinker, gambled a lot and was a womaniser. He was never satisfied with what I could give him in the bedroom. Some people said that I was feeding him too well and I blame myself when I made him his peanut punch and Irish moss every week. I am working.

We had an account together and that man would go behind my back and withdraw money. So I stopped putting money in the account. I have an account on my own. He was always going to clubs at his age and whenever I spoke to him about his lifestyle, he was not afraid to tell me he could get any woman he wanted. The house we live in belongs to the both of us and that was the best thing that happened in this relationship, we have a house and we don't have any money owed on it.

One night when he came in so drunk, I looked into his phone and saw what a young girl was telling him about how she enjoyed him and although he was much older than her boyfriend, she would give it to him again. He took this girl to a whore house and they had their time. I did not let him know I saw the text. This man was putting so much of his money in 'hairy bank'.

My mother told me long ago that men who put money there are going to end up as beggars because those banks don't pay any interest.

This man is ill and his relatives are not helping him. I am alone. I asked one of his brothers to help me to fill a prescription for him and he said that I was on my own because one time he had asked him for a loan and he said he couldn't because he had some business taking care of. His brother suggested that I should rent one of the rooms in the house to help me pay bills. It would have to be a male tenant because at his age, he would still put question to any woman, and to suggest to him that we rent it to a man, he may feel that I want a man.

I do not know what to do. I have a few more working years, but it is hard to spend my money on my husband who wasted so much of his money. Please give me your advice.


Dear H.E.,

When you got married to this man, were you aware that he was squandering his money on younger women? I guess not, because you should have known that any man who drinks heavily, gambles etc, cannot save or invest anything for his older years. When a younger woman shows interest in a man of that age, what she sees is his money. You call what the woman has 'hairy bank'. What a way to describe it! Older men like to brag to each other about how many young girls they have, but these young girls trick them and carry on in the bedroom to make them pour out more money, and when these old men become ill, the much younger girls have no use for them, especially if these men don't have anything to give them. The wives of these men are left to pay all the doctor bills and to feed them.

Your brother-in-law suggested that you rent a room in the house to help you pay the bills. That is not a bad idea. If this man was a 'hot rod', now that he is sickly, it is doubtful that he would still want to carry on his foolishness. He should not be accusing you of cheating on him. Consider renting the room and I wish you well.


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